he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
