Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize