I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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