Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
