"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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