My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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