you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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