sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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