He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
