I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
