You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
