So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just want to make out with him forever
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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