So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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