I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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