He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
