we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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