sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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