A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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