Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
