i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
