oh god the rape fog is back!
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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