My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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