Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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