He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
