the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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