Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Actions speak louder than pants.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize