OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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