he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
His nipple licking is glorious
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