if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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