Don't you send me to vm
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
