I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
