They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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