He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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