I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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