just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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