awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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