Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
