im having a threesome with these popsicles
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
