I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
