is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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