i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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