Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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