took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
