Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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