i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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