bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
