Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
