It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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