ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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