i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
you had me at cake vodka
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
When are your genitals available?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
