I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
