Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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