i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
