You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Everyone says I win the strip club
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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