There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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