So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize