tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
