Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize