I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
