Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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