My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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