FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
