Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize