Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
